KINGSLEY FERDINANDS WRITES NEW POEM FOR KATY PERRY

WHAT A DISGRACE....an outrage...a national tragedy has just been exposed....I demand a Royal Commission...on page 25 of today's Tiser....How on earth did Katy Perry get 2 out of 10 on the red carpet???????  How?  please explain!!  I swear I will tie up $$150 million dollars worth of police budget money until the guilty party is found....then there will be the public floggin' and I will get back near $$200 million in ticket sales...as for the head dress ....yeah it looks cool on all girls so please keep wearing.